I recently made a list of gift ideas for a life thing. It was harder to do than I expected it to be. Gifts are meaningful and stressful.
A gift is meaningful because it recognizes a relationship. A gift stressful because it's easy to get the personal, social, or economic details wrong.
Each gift is a story. There's the occasion that's deemed worthy of a gift. There's the gifter, preparing for the moment. There's the recipient, and their expectations. There's the audience, and *their* expectations. The delivery, the payoff, and the reminiscing after.
In a perfect world the story is idyllic.
A thoughtful gift, unraveled and presented, at the right time, taste on point. Think Alec Baldwin reading Tina Fey like a book in 30 Rock.
But the story can be fraught. Miss the point. Price too high or low. Miss the right time. Misread the recipient. Misread the audience. Then it's at least awkward. Think Roy and Pam from The Office, on Valentine's Day.
I remember a friend with a love-language of gifting. They narrowed their eyes at my Hallmark Card. They were right to do so. I'm grateful to have a friend produce an unbelievably thoughtful care package. They recognized my nuances better than I could. I'm still seething.
It's not worth overthinking it for some. That isn't true for me, and I needed a few questions to game it out.
Who’s giving the gift to whom?
Why is the gifter gifting?
What is the gift?
How does the gift show appreciation?
What is the recipient expecting?
What’s the expectation of reciprocity?
What does the audience expect?
At what price?
There's a balance between satisfying the recipient, the audience, and the gifter. A successful gift succeeds at least for the recipient, and at least does not fail on the rest.
There's nuance to it.
The Tax Man cares about gifts and that’s an important note for humanity.
Let's remember that Dumbledore told people he wanted socks. He knew that no one could gift him his real desire.
Be careful to not buy someone a Rolex if they've been working towards one.
Don't lose your graduation watch. I did and I still look for it.
I've had friends getting married who've wanted cash as gifts. They didn’t have an acceptable way to ask for it.
I was once gifted a nap and I still think about it.